I agree with Thumper.
There comes a point where its all just a Huge Combo of Madness Your Wonderful Self needs no part of. And it is easier to let it ALL go instead of struggling with every tiny word or memory or assumption....
Life has great things in store for you MQ. Its not if there are great things.. its if YOU are willing to receive them... so glad you are starting to accept gifts life has to offer...such as peace and serenity