Hydro girl,
As a self proclaimed codependant, it is always frustrating to watch someone doing something we don't think they should be doing. Even more so when they are hurting themselves in the process. I think it is hard for anyone to witness that, to watch someone else self destruct, but the majority of us are used to that person not wanting any help. This situation is different though.
I think Suki's point was that Iwantcontrol has been posting about this man, and asking for help and advice since last december, and gotten some really great stories of hope and recovery from other members. It has been her choice to not change her situation, and her choice to tolerate what he is continuing to put her through. Granted, suki may have been a little harsh, but sometimes that is what some of us need to hear... no sugarcoating. I for one appreciate the honesty that I know I can count on from certain members.
Whether you are codependant or not, it is always frustrating when someone continually comes to you for advice, doesn't take it, and then comes back for it again. After a while, for some of us, there is no other option than to wash your hands of it.
Iwantcontrol has posted that she is currently taking steps to begin detachment, which is wonderful. Who's to say that Suki's comments weren't instrumental in that?