Originally Posted by
iwantcontrol 
I must confess I also wondered if maybe he made up the malignant cells part, but i went with him to the hospital last week so I know they did do a medical procedure and took a biopsy. He got the results a couple of days later. I'm not totally sure about the malignant cells - but I think it would be awful if he made that up.
I also didn't want to believe my AH would lie about such serious health issues. Afterall, who would do that?!? An alcoholic for one.
My AH lied about having cancer. He told me right after I left him and I felt like an uncaring, heartless b**** for leaving, for staying gone, for 'making' him stay on friends' couches because he couldn't afford the medical treatment
and rent (even though he had double insurance coverage through his company and my policy). He had excuses for why I never saw anything show up on my insurance (didn't want me to know, didn't want the bills to come back to me for payment, blah, blah, blah).
I would drop him off for treatment, but he never wanted me to stay (turns out he would walk into building until I left for work and then leave). He kept up the lie for 2 years and some new complication would come up whenever I felt I had finally detached from the situation and worked through my guilt.
The short of it was: it was all a lie, an effort to manipulate me.
He lost all the weight he lost because he never ate - he just drank, and drank and drank. He
was sick - alcoholism, acute withdrawal when he would actually not drink for a few days - it just wasn't cancer.
I don't know if the situation with your ABF is remotely the same, but I will pass on advice I've gotten from Al-Anon and SR: trust your instincts and take care of yourself. He will do whatever he wants to do; you can't make him stop drinking or trying to manipulate you or others, you can't make him get treatment or ask for help. You can, however, make sure you're working towards being where and who you want to be.
Best wishes.