RsBeet26

I am just looking for some advice or support for my utter frustration. I can clearly say that the biggest possible hinderance to my sobriety is my methadone clinic. I have been there for over 4 yrs now and have been requesting a dose reduction for 2 1/2 of those yrs! I have remained 100% clean since the first day I took methadone, but now after completely turning my life around (including holding a great job for years and pursuing a masters degree) I am entirely fed up with methadone and my clinic.

I have been thru 5 counselors, half of which left there jobs after a couple of months, the other half were completely incompetent. One used to sit on his cell phone and flirt with girls during individual counseling sessions, the other would never speak a word to me unless she was asking the specific designated questions on her checklist. If I wanted to bring up the subject of getting off methadone she would completely ignore me and give me dirty looks. When I told her she was making me feel frustrated and uncomfortable she told me "that attitude won't get you anywhere", and continued to ignore me. The staff at my clinic is completely unapproachable and everyone treats you less than. There seems to be some power control issue with most of them. I have started to experience panic attacks when I go there in the mornings, and I can not get anyone to listen to me whole heartedly. I have been told 5 times that my dose would be reduced, once by the supervisor who assured me she would personally make sure it would happen. Not once did it go down. I finally have a decent counselor, but he has been trying to get me in to see the Dr for 3 months now for a consultation for a dose reduction. Everytime I see him though, he is up to his ears in paperwork, and just does not have the time to deal with my situation. I accidental missed my meeting with him last month, so that put me behind another month as well.

Another huge issue is the fact that sometimes it can take HOURS to get your dose. I came incredibly close to loosing my job a number of times and have known several ppl who have. Ironically, on my wedding day, they had a 4 hr wait. I tried to calmly explain my situation to see if I could get hurried thru the line, but it was met with nothing but rudeness and laughter that I even asked. I was late to my own wedding because of this clinic!

Sorry for the ranting, I just feel so helpless. I am positive this clinic does not care about anyones overall success, and I would take it as far as to say they make me feel less than human. I could write you a 10 page essay on the negative experiences I have had. I want to go above my clinic to get my dose reduced if necessary. Where do I turn for help when no one at my clinic will help me? I want to at least get reduced low enough to switch to suboxone from a private DR. I need out of this place, it is starting to impact my life as negatively as the pills did in the first place. There is no way I can survive another yr here.