Feels like a good cry is in order.....
Up until now I have been handling things really well. It's not unusual for my circle of friends and family to say to me on a daily basis "I don't know how you can be so strong, but ZI am so proud of you'
Tonight I feel the exact opposite. While my stbxah is out on what I am counting his 4th date, I am sitting home with the kids, feeling overwhelmed, tired and lost.
It may have something to do with the "down time" I have this weekend. I have had plans the last couple weekends and have been out with friends, ect. Today I tackled the weeding in the backyard. I was looking around at the deck that needs to be restained, the porch that needs to be restained, the kids swingset that needs to be restained, I need to add new woodchips to all of the landscaping beds, the grass is getting long...I was just feeling overwhelmed, and I think it finally sunk in that I am going to be on my own.
STBXAH has offered to come and help me out with these things, he pointed out to me that it is going to be a big undertaking and if I needed his help he would give it to me. I have a lot of friends that will help me too...
I am not regretting my decesion at all , but sitting home tonight while he is probably out on a date is making me feel very "disposable" After 11 long years this is the climax. He is just getting right back into the swing of things, probably using the same lies and lines he used on me when I fell hard and fast for him when we started dating. This makes my stomach turn. I can't wait for him to move out, for this to be final and to get some closure.
I am gonna go hug my kids, thank my HP and have a good cry......