Hi Newlife.
I haven't been on this site in a long time. In fact, it's been months. I joined this site because, like you, I was torn apart by a pothead. It's been so long since him and I ended, but it still stings to know that a plant was more important. Doesn't it sound silly when it's put that way?
Trust me, keeping it no contact is the best thing for you. I went back so many times...and it never changes. I played his game for two years, and it still never changed. Please, please, take care of yourself and don't worry about him.
I tried suggesting cutting back on it to my guy too...it doesn't matter how much they try or don't try, if he was willing to do so, then he already would have. It's so hard watching those changes.
Please, feel free to message me. I'm gonna be around a whole lot more now. I may not be good with the advice, but I do understand 100%. It's never fun...