one thing that helped me was this phrase that i learned here:
stop giving him a soft place to land.
i can remember many times as i laid him down in his drunken wretchedness and those words came into my head.
stop giving him a soft spot to land.
i know now that the kindest, most compassionate thing to do is to let them suffer the consequences of their drinking. as we all know, they just won't listen to reason and will continue to blame us.
it's an ugly disease and it will take the whole family down with it.
naive