I haven't entirely rejected the possibility she's using, but it's unlikely (but certainly not impossible), since I know how much money she has, and she just put all but a few bucks of it into our bank account.
I can't influence the actions or feelings of her family, but I can speak with her sister once in an open and direct way, hear the answer, say 'thank you,' and go, without apologizing, making excuses or pretending to be someone I'm not.
I can't influence the actions or feelings of my wife, but I can speak with her in an unemotional but honest way and not challenge or object to her response, and not offer any opinions or give any commentary.
I have no expectations about what I will be told, if anything. I have no expectations on when I will be called back, if ever. I have made the call and left the message to her sister -- the ball is in her court. I've done what I wanted to do.
I had already asked her permission on Sunday to talk to the facility, and she gave it immediately and "yes of course"-ly. I've sent Z a text, and I'll simply see what happens -- I'm not getting hung up on it. I have a test and a presentation to give in my class tonight. I have 3 t-ball games this weekend that I'm coaching, and I've got one final and six written assignments due next week. I also have a nar-anon meeting to go to on Tuesday. At least for this particular question that has arisen, I can't afford to let it draw out into a big problem, which is why I decided to ask it and get it out of the way asap.