Right now, he is not going to any AA meetings. Said he wants to go to one tonight, but said something wanting to go to closed meetings as opposed to open. I'm not clear on what that means, just know that is what he said. So will he go tonight? Who knows.
I have not yet met with a lawyer. I want to, but again, am afraid to take that next step wondering if I will regret my decisions. Always second guessing myself. I did tell AH that I would hold off on the divorce if he could give me a separation. He agreed to that. I told him I need to heal my broken self and that I can't do that if he is always around. I have to have distance from him. From us. I need to show the kids how to be strong. To take control of your own life. To live without being scared.
My family and friends have been great. The only thing I don't agree with is their pushing me to end it NOW. When I do this, it will be on my terms. Not theirs, and not AH.