It sounds to me like you have reached the point of "acceptance", one of the biggest hurdles to get over as we move forward in our recovery.
It is what it is. It stinks and it's hard to realize that their addiction isn't about us, but out recovery is and we can and do find a better way to live, whether we choose to stay with them or not.
The addict in my life is my son, who has been missing for over 5 years lost in his addiction somewhere. I too did everything a mother can do to try to get him to quit, but in the end I was going down with him and had to save my own life before his life destroyed me.
What helped me at the time was going to meetings and learning to work 12 little steps that literally saved my life. And coming to SR here and staying connected with a support network of wonderful people who walked with me through the dark days. Today I live my life well, I am happy and free and no longer live in fear every day. I give my son's care to God every morning in prayer, and then leave the rest between him and God.
Stick around, try some meetings if you can, Al-anon, Nar-anon and CoDA are three similar fellowships that have helped many of us find sanity and serenity again.
Hugs