Spiritual Awakening
Almost all recovering alcoholics, who are in AA at least, attribute their sobriety in large part to a "Spiritual Awakening". I have to say I'm not sure what that means. For me, at my "bottom", I was spiritually empty and desperate and begged, literally begged God to help me. And he/she/it did....through people, readings, and counseling and.....something else.....an awareness that I had a Guardian Angel who invisibly held my soul and "told" me that he/she/it would always be by my side. We were together in this and in all things, forever.
Is this a spiritual awakening? A connection to my "Higher Power"? Or am I missing something basic?
In Step 12, it refers to having a Spiritual Awakening as a result of doing the 12 Steps. For me, the Steps involved conceding that I couldn't control my drinking, that I needed help to recover, that I needed to understand the reasons I drank and take personal responsibility for my actions, that I must make amends to those I harmed, that I need to constantly monitor my intentions, motivations and actions and that I should try to assist other alcoholics. And to ask for my HP's help in all of these endeavors. To me these are concrete steps that I choose to take, whereas a spiritual awakening seems to be something that "happens", like an epiphany.
Is a spiritual awakening a sense of serenity? I certainly think that the steps are crucial to my ongoing sobriety, but it involves hard, conscious work, not halos. But then there is that certainty that I am not alone and I am convinced that I would not be sober if I did not feel this presence.
Maybe this doesn't even matter, that as long as I am doing "the right thing" and staying sober and by and large happy, I shouldn't be looking for trouble. But when recovering alcoholics speak of "having one", I wonder if I missing something critical.