Yes I agree that I have put my husband through hell. My son has no idea what is going on, I have never done it when he was any where around, nor have I been around him when I was under the influence. My husband & I do not argue around my child and we are doing everything we can do make our marriage work for him and us. I have been clean for 3 weeks now and so far do not have the urge for it. I did coke every day for 2 years and walked away from it one day & have not touched it since (its been 9 years now). So lets hope that walking away from smoking it wont be as hard. Its been 3 weeks and no desire to touch it.