The whole "for better or worse" thing really kept me stuck for longer than I like to admit. My view was that a marriage goes through changes and we adapt to those changes. There was a time when I was a stay at home mom and he was the sole breadwinner. Then, as my children got older, I craved adult interaction and the satisfaction of a career. At the same time, we were moving to a new area and his opportunities were limited. Seemed perfectly sensible to me that we switch. He could stay at home with the kids for a while and I could provide.
In a regular marriage, it probably would have worked out that way. But, he couldn't bring himself to be stay a home dad. First, he didn't want to remain sober and be responsible, but also there was some macho ego thing about it for him, too.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that the marriage vows (and responsibilities) apply equally to both partners. Sure, there is some give and take, and some periods where one gives more, but overall it should equal out. With my marriage, the pendulum never swung back the other way. It was me giving, and giving, and giving. Him taking, and taking, and taking. I waited a long time for his turn at giving, and it never came.
L