When you ask yourself the age-old question:
What is the right thing to do?
Do, you get the answer? Ultimately this works for me. Then I just do what I can do. It isn't easy. The mental Health field is anything but easy to navigate. Can you describe any other options? Do you have healthcare coverage? Postpartum depression may be playing into it too, at least it did for me! That alone can make us feel like monsters. Can you expand a little more on your situation? There's no family to help?