Good morning! I just had to reply to your post because you are fighting for your life and trying to be there for your baby. Try asking to borrow the money to put your baby in child care. It will not hurt your baby to get a one bottle while you get the help you need. I was breast feeding my son too and had to go into the hospital because of a break down and had to give up nursing. You do what you have to to take care of yourself. You really do not want to get drunk again or self harm do you? Your Baby will be fine for two hours that your away, trust me. I use to think my kids could not live without me,but turns out they could. As a matter of fact when I was manic I was no good to them anyway or when I was depressed either. I'm healthy now because I take my meds and see a shrink and go to AA. I take time out for me. Iuse to bring the kids to AA at times when I really need to go to be around people. They loved seeing the kids,so you never know. Good luck and know your not alone!!!