Creating my own obstacles?
I'm not sure which forum to post this in - I'm 3.5 years without a drink and no longer in AA, but still struggling with depression and self-harm.
I've been trying to get help for my mental health problems for many, many years. I've finally been accepted into a short group therapy group (8 weeks) but I can't sort out childcare.
Part of me feels I'd do anything to get better, another part of me doesn't want to not parent the 'right' way for me. My baby is very attached and very breastfed and I know he'll cry the whole 2 hours he is away from me. Affording/finding childcare won't be easy either. I can't take him with me. I've had to decline the place for the time being.
I don't know what to do. I flit between sticking him in a nusery (how I'd afford it I don't know) so I can have therapy (whether they'd let me have it is another question), giving him up for adoption so I can just give in to my urges and begin the downward spiral that I desperately want, or just burying my head in the sand and hoping everything will be alright.