Hello Everyone!
Thanks again for all of the replies. Just wanted to reiterate that I am getting the counseling and help for the DV issue. I, sadly, struggle more with the alcoholism aspect of it. My therapist agrees.
I went to another Al-Anon meeting and I loved it! I wanted to say to anybody in this situation who is new to it and struggling as much as I am, go to an Al-Anon meeting if you haven't! Go to several. I was so scared to go, I have been putting it off for years and now I am SO glad I went.
Today has been a little rough. I didn't sleep well, think I am getting sick and was struggling with the guilt and all the other above emotions. But, I have made it today. No contact, nothing. He has texted me, of course, but I didn't have the energy to deal with it so I really didn't have the urge to text back and I could tell he was drunk.
It's a struggle and it does suck to feel this way a lot of the time but I do have hope and for one more night, I have peace in my home and my mind because I know he is drunk but I don't have to deal with it. Thank God.
And I just keep reminding myself of how I feel now, knowing I do not have to deal with him drunk in my home and I need to remember this. It is only a matter of time before his phone will be shut off, his motel stay will run out and he will come a knockin. Not looking forward to that day one bit.
Sleep well all!
