Something that may help you.. or help lots of women I seem to be reading about on this board and that is to look at the issue of physical abuse. There is never any excuse for that, including alcoholism. Hitting women is a symptom of a much bigger problem in him. I'm very troubled by some of the rationalizing by the victims that happens due to the alcoholism. In other words, not all alcoholics abuse women physically so please take a good look at that dynamic and get help. Alanon may help you deal with the codependence issues but consider one to one therapy for why you are so conflicted about this guy.
It is never ok to hit a woman.