"I have read several stories of other peoples situations and it makes me start to question how "bad" my sons drug problem is. I can't say everyone on her, but many seem to be dealing with worse drugs and issues than my son (his pot and occasional harder drugs). I almost feel guilty for feeling as hopeless as I do. Am I wrong for feeling this way?"
There is nothing worse. Your situation is just as hard to deal with as anyone else's. Go with your gut. If you think it's serious, it probably is. Lots of addicts try to get over by using that "it's only pot" line. They're addicts, they lie. My AD is ashamed and still not ready to face up to what she's really been doing.
Cudos to you, Paula, for going to a meeting. They are not all the same and do try to find one you're comfortable with. Any meeting is better than none.
CB