I've only been sober since April Fool's Day, and I'm having a tough time right now. Just wanted to share for a minute.
I asked my fiance to stay at his mom's for awhile, because of some ongoing issues. We are going to counselling now, but it's better if he is not in my house at the moment. This is hard for both of us and our two year old. And maybe his 11 year old? I dunno.
I wanted to drink so bad yesterday. I said to myself "I've gone 12 days, so obviously I can do it." and I could practically taste the wine, I thought I could just stop on the way home and pick up a small bottle (not the big bottle I usually get).
I couldn't snap out of it. I don't know how it worked, but a couple things happened: 1. I really like having April Fool's Day as my Sobriety date. :wtf2
2. I remembered that when I woke up this morning I said I would NOT drink today. 3. I didn't want to face the music this morning; the guilt, shame, disappointment, etc.
So I took my son to the park, then we went and got a redbox movie. I read from the Big Book and I remembered why I can't drink. I still wanted to drink, but was past the danger zone. I pray that I get past the danger zone every time I want to drink.
This morning I woke up so grateful that I didn't drink, as I have every morning for the last 13 days now. And really, there is no way I could be doing this single mom thing (no matter how temporary) if I were drinking.
So thank you God, and thank you SR for being there!
