My situation was similar. I wrote down the bad stuff my XAH did to me and when I missed him I would pull out the list. It helped me go from "sad to mad".......I missed the potential of who he could have been.....not who he was. I still have that list somewhere. Six months from now you will see more reality of the situation. You will eventually be in gratitude....that you didn't marry her and then have her cheat, that you didn't have kids with her that would have been affected by the alcoholism(mentally and physically). You will be grateful for the lessons /boundaries you learned. Some poet said "life is a thousand beautiful mistakes. " The best revenge is to go live a happy life. " Let go or be dragged"- I heard on here and those words really helped me. Her disease is progressive. It can only be arrested- never cured. She doesn't see she has a problem. She may never. She will eventually face consequences for her drinking; DUI, friendships, job loss, she will lose her looks, her health, $, family.......drunks are jerks. They are selfish. People get tired of it. On the tv show Sober House.....the councelor Will says ....."addicts treat their loved ones like a cat treats a cockroach." That wasn't fun. You will be fine. And you are not alone....we are all one.