It's so easy to tell someone what a horrible person they are, but it's harder for "some " people to tell you something nice. With my AH its like he feels like I don't deserve a good or kind word. You should have seen his face when I told him that I have lots of friends and they all think that I am a good person. They actually LIKE me! His face sort of looked sad, and he had nothing else to say.
It makes me feel sad for people like him and your ex, that feel so bad about themselves that they can't give a kind word to someone else.
