My xabf said a lot of things to me that were very hurtful. VERY hurtful. Some of what he said he meant, and some of the things he said, he didn't mean. The thing is, it doesn't really matter because I wasn't happy. He was drinking, so we couldn't really have a meaningful healthy relationship, which is what I really want to have if I'm going to be in a relationship.
It doesn't sound like this man makes you feel happy. He doesn't sound like someone you can lean on, and he sure doesn't sound like a best friend. He sounds like he's an addict that does what addicts do, cheats, lies, disappears, takes all of your energy and focus away from you. etc.
Just out of curiosity, what do you do for fun?