Yes, remembering the good times makes it tough in some ways, there were some really wonderful times with my exA.
Just tonight I was talking with my sponsor and when she acknowledged that I really love my ex I had a realization that I've had before but with less clarity until now: I don't know who my ex is...I don't know WHO I fell in love with. Quite honestly, I feel like I fell in love with someone who doesn't exist--a creation of my own mind that I defended with all kinds of denial when any questionable behavior came up in the relationship.
That's sad, but not devastating by any means. When I think and feel that realization I know that I can find what I want in someone else, right after I find it in ME.
I know it's not easy, DMKK, but I have to say that from where I'm sitting right now, even with the breakup only 4 days old, it's worth it.
Wishing you peacefulness,
posie