Welcome Bright future!
You have described my ex very well here. I had no idea he had ever been to the Midwest.
In all seriousness....
When my ex would have a drunken rage, which were also initially infrequent, he would follow that up the next day with apologies and pouting, too. He would promise some form of moderation or abstinance program and, like you, I wouldn't hold my breath. After a short while any mention of this 'program' no matter how indirect would prompt a complete blowup by my ex. In time, I understood that his fight was two-fold. It would make me seem like the crazy one and he would have to start drinking again to tolerate me. Or. It would make me angry back at him thus giving him the excuse to drink again. If I'm going to rage at him for being sober, what's the point of it, right?
Recovery is about you. The reasons he does these things is no longer a focus for us now. I know it seems impossible to not wonder why. I still spend time wondering why people in my life do certain things, but I have learned not to let myself be stalled by it. I can go on with my life without knowing why and it's vital that I remember that.
What your boyfriend is doing is just what addicts do. What recovering family members do is keep their hands and their thoughts out of the addiction. Next time you want to ask about AA, stop and play this recent conversation with him back in your mind. You know where it's going to lead so make a change and don't ask. Wait and watch his actions. If he goes, good for him. If he doesn't, decide how that affects you and if you are willing to let it go. If it's a dealbreaker and he has to go to AA for you to stay than follow up on your boundaries and leave.
More will come along with their experiences..
Wishing you the best!
Alice