My dear SR friends,
I'm feeling good enough to post a positive update this morning. I'm doing a little "happy dance" because I'm actually feeling GOOD today. I still get teary and sometimes cry, but it's 4 days after breaking up with my exA for good, and I'M OKAY.
Geez. It's a miracle. My life is getting full in other ways already--I've been out for walks, dinners, socializing with friends. I have gotten invites and phone calls from people who WANT TO spend time with me, laughing and listening and encouraging me to do what works best for me. My recently ended relationship has NOT been the focus of my life in many ways, I'm getting my OWN life, or maybe discovering I've had it all along and didn't know! I also think it really helped to take the month-long break and begin to develop a life of my own during that time. I've been seriously planning for getting a dog later this year, getting ready for my kids to come back home after being away with relatives for the week, hanging drapes in my dining room, finding out that life goes on. LIFE GOES ON. Whewwwwwww.
I'm also reading my journal from the past 10 months of my life and, whoa, what a wake-up call! I've written such wise words in the past months and still had to do this relationship thing for a while. I sure hope I've gotten that crap out of my system, I never, ever, ever want to do all of that again.
I plan to print out the threads when I've posted about this relationship and put them with my journal entries as a reminder of where I've been and don't need to go back to. There is hope for today, and tomorrow, in a MAJOR way.
I know I'll have my ups and downs but I'm so glad for the times when I can take a deep breath and say it really feels OKAY...even MORE than okay. I couldn't have believed it if you all hadn't been holding the light for me in the midst of my darkest times. Thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my bruised-but-healing heart.
Blessings,
posie
