well i would but i don't have a doctor and calling the hospital only get me put in. i hate those stays i come out more messed up than when i whent in. i do have some meds that i got to put me to sleep when i use to see a psych. but thne i figured out they were just trying to sedate me and not help me and now i am stuck with a crap load of sedatives but i am worried about this whole addict thing. if i take one now will i become dependant on it. dude i haven't even been able to take an asprin in the last couple of days since i found out my pain meds were addictive as well for fear of letting go of one to hook onto another nad will that lead to this and dude i just don't know what to do. i am just trying to keep busy reading posts and such for the moment. one minute of reading is one minute i am not hearing stuff or thinking stuff ya know. i know ya'll said it won't be easy but dag gone man i am goin' threw some changes 'round here. i am laughing then crying then stareing of into space dude feeling really unwell is the understatement of the year for me but i really appreciate you talking with me man. ummm why are you up at 5 am? if i may ask.