Aw, TC, sending encouragement and hugs.
You have a right to feel what you feel.
You have a right to have needs for yourself, and express them, and seek ways to get them met.
You have a right to distance from you those people, places, and things that get in the way of your needs or serenity.
You have a right to change course, and make decisions in your own best interest.
You have a lot of rights, but you must take an active, not passive role, to get them met.
And BTW, you may be experiencing ahead-of-time grief toward losing your father.
:ghug3
CLMI