I have been waiting for, and have wasted 5 years of my life not getting a SORRY. Instead it just kept coming, the lies...andthe lies became elaborate. The double life became insane.
There is a mechanism in you that is requiring this closure, and in health it does not require her.
In dysfunction, you NEED her to engage.
I KNOW because I am there, still. I am seeing how sick he is now. I met him 9 years ago. We had our son 5 years ago. I have been waiting for him to pick it up and get it together. HE WILL NOT!
Please try to move on, consider this relationship a great lesson from the universe.
If you pursue her, and she caves in, you will be manipulated beyond logic. She is an addict, and she is looking for the "greener pastures" of someone who does not know her secret, and who will expect nothing, and who will fall for her, until they dont anymore, and they wont, eventually. And then she will go to "greener, greener pastures.."
YOU need your own greener pastures.
I am really TRYING to love him from afar. I am telling myself everyday,"What a neat person he was in my life. But its over, now. "
I am trying. Keep at it! You are here, and thats a big step!