Not to self - if I am so fortunate as to have an SR member drop in for coffee, under no circumstance should I let them in my kitchen, or even worse, get their own spoon.
:rotfxko
TC - find someone in real life that you think has it down and watch them. It is fascinating stuff, at least for me, who has really never seen healthy.
What I see is that people in a good relationship feel better about themselves when they are with the other person. They support each other. They trust that the other person has their back. They sometimes argue about the daily stuff but they are 'ok' after the arguement. They can say sorry and let it go because they did not hit below the belt. They might get angry but they do not manipulate. They protect both themselves and the other person. They respect each other. Their 'duties' are not always traditional or even but it is a balance among their strengths. I'm sure there are private difficulties I'm not privv too, and that they have had to work out difficulties, but it is quite eye opening when I am around them. I don't ever wince at what one does or says to the other. That should become a pre-requisite. If someone makes me wince, don't even bother, lol.