It took awhile (a really long while, to be honest), but I found a man who is an equal partner in every way. We both do stuff around the house. I cook most of the time, but if I'm running late (or running on empty) he'll just do it. He does most of the laundry, although I do it too when I'm in the basement and see that something needs to be done. I can't explain it reallly, it just works. Neither of us feels like the other does too little, or doesn't appreciate the other etc. It just works.
I know for a fact that I got a healthier partner when I got healthier. After some nightmarish relationships where I got to be mother/caretaker/doormat/maid etc, I learned to set some boundaries and to communicate about what I wanted and needed