Okay, well they always say that the third time is the charm, so thought I would give this another try. So here goes nothing.
About three years ago was the last time I spoke to him on the phone. Online communication sometimes feels a bit too impersonal to me, so I don’t always count it even though I should. After the last time we spoke on the phone, I continued to contact him through email and online chatting. I guess I figured that if I just gave it some time that he would eventually start talking to me again the way he once did. When he didn’t come around after six or eight months, I finally gave it up, or so I thought.
A few months after that, I met another guy who I’ve been dating off and on for about the past two years. I’m wondering if maybe the reason why I feel as though I never really got over the long distance thing was because maybe I was just trying to live out the fantasy I had with him with someone who was real. And now that I’ve broken up with my boyfriend, maybe I’m just thinking back to the long distance thing as a way of thinking about what could have been if only I had made different choices in my life.
I don’t know, none of this really makes any sense to me. I’m not even sure how the heck I got so attached to the long distance thing in the first place. I mean as my boyfriend has told me a million times by now, we never even met each other in person. So how is it that he could have meant so much to me, and why the heck did I get so caught up in his addiction, and why the heck did I end up dating someone who is basically just like him?
I don’t know, it really doesn’t make much sense to me. I really don’t understand. I guess I was just hoping that there might be someone out there who might understand, and would be willing to share some of their experiences or insights with me. Although who the heck knows, maybe I will find what I’m looking for just by reading more of what has already been posted on here. But anyways, I just thought I would give this whole posting thing another try.