April Class member too. 4-4-10 Read something on SR last night that cleared up some real problem I was having. After an 8 year relapse, I had become fearful of even going to a meeting, since I've always had to do a little mental gymnastics in step meetings (and in many AA meetings) because of my Secular Humanistic belief system and began to wonder if AA was just not for me. Always feeling like the Imposter. But, how could I turn my back on AA after they gave me so many tools that changed my life so completly 22 years ago ? A sober life beyond my wildest dreams. Last night I read a response on a thread here at SR that calmed those fears, ....went something like this. Someone relapsed after an AA meeting because of (percieved) insult or insults. The response to them on SR was that the real reason they relapsed was "they were just looking for a reason to drink" Isn't that the truth !! That's what I did every single day. To show you the insanity, the night before I finally decided to not pick up the first drink , I was on my way home from work at 2am, thinking , tonight is it for me, ......BUT, in a flash, I came sooo damn close to hitting a deer running across the road and the first thing popped in my alchoholic brain-- .....Man that was damn close, no collission insurance on this baby, I need to calm my nerves. Drink ,drink, drink, Drunk, Pass out .....the last night I'll never remember and never get back. Great news is today <day 4> I woke up with no hangover and my car found it's way to a noon meeting which is really what I needed today. f2f ...I have to laugh, of all the things in the world, worried about an AA meeting making me DRINK !! LOL Thanks to all in SR it's late, and it's 2 minutes into day 5 Peace