My AH is the passive aggressive King, sorry you can't have that title.
The more research I did, the more clearly the game plan was laid out and made clear to me.
I am not p/a but rather aggressive aggressive. In my earlier years I was demanding, overbearing, loud and crossed boundaries. Ok, five years ago.
If you search "passive aggressive get your angries out" you'll find an amazing site.
p/a men (or people) need someone else to get angry for them. So, he would push my buttons, I would take the bait and blow up, then he could stand back and say, "well look at you, you're so angry." Oh my goodness, for me, someone with anger issues, this was like throwing gasoline on a fire.
I've felt the same way here at times, not often, but I've felt baited and then try to set boundaries, then they say, "well, no need to be offended I was just trying to help. Ta ta" which makes me even crazier. Clearly I still have issues.
Mostly, I feel loved and respected and supported here, so I focus on those experiences and try to give back here with kindness as well.
With AH, I just keep emotional distance. Stay detached. OH, and I do NOT ignore red flags in any situation or relationship. Never again.
The trick is to not get sucked into the fight. The very best thing I've ever done was focus on myself, on my career and learn to love myself.