As an acoa with a long term "recovering" aa dad, I have a very different perspective.
My abusive dad has 13th stepped with many women from aa. He probably neglects to say he's not formally divorced as it gives him an out on commitment.
He talks a really good talk, but he doesn't walk the walk imo.
He has this amazing ability to bait and switch, (putting spin).
With people like him in aa, sometimes I feel like women are not safe there.
Its almost like they play a game of who can dupe the new kid into the sack.
Lying and manipulation are his nature. It certainly didn't stop when he "got his program."
(I'm not putting the program down, but just saying some will use it to their own agenda.)
Imo, he's a raging untreated codependent. The women are projects for him to "fix". I always felt sorry for his next "victim" (or "volunteer").
Are you going with your feelings or your head? Feelings are not facts. Most of the time I allowed my hormones to lead, I have regretted it.
Thanks for letting me share. Take what you like and leave the rest.