I lost everything including my three children and home to alcohol, drugs and my obsession with AH. But if that's what had to happen to get me where I am today, then I am very grateful.
I was so trapped in my own mind that I couldn't see anything around me, and nothing seemed to be able to break through that barrier. Not words. Not losing everything I had. Not verbal and physical abuse.
It was only through this program and beginning to work the steps that the blocks started to be removed in me, and I was able to see for the first time that my HP had been there all along waiting for me. And that he was ready to take me down a different path if I would just listen to Him and work hard. I have only begun to receive the gifts waiting for me, but I can't wait to find out what else is in store.
I only have remnants of the crippling anxiety that has plagued me since I was a child. I have no desire to drink or use drugs. I actually care what happens to me now. I am a better woman and, therefore, a better mother to my children. And that is what I have always wanted to be and what seemed so unattainable.
So I'm writing, writing, writing my 4th step now. Getting it all on paper. It's not always easy to sit down to do it, but every time I do it just flows because HP is helping me. For the first time, I am by myself and yet not lonely. No longer empty, but full. I am loved and can give love in return. I truly am blessed.
And I'm happy to be back here. I missed everyone and have always wished you well.