You are questioning your drinking. That is the most important step. You won't believe how many heavy drinkers are in total denial. I had a friend stay with me over Easter who is one of the biggest drinkers I have ever met (hence why I chose today as my first day of sobriety). I met him 8 years ago which was precisely when my drinking escalated. He is a drinker that can get up in the middle of the night to continue drinking. He has acute anxiety and has depression, something he refuses to connect to his drinking. He drinks every day and he drinks a lot. He pours you a glass of wine when you say you are having an alcohol free day. He continues to top up your drinks. You can never have a quiet night with him. He would be shocked if I told him he had a drinking problem. He would never google this site. You have.