Scaling back to me is a fairytale. I never wished to only drink a few but instead only saw the point in getting totally and utterly wasted untill I couldn't remember my name or what planet I was on.
Once I take a drink I will not stop untill I pass out. Bearing in mind I will likely take drugs to keep me awake and also increase the buzz thus my binge will likely last days. I will also drink as soon as I open my eyes from my passout.
I had to accept that I am without doubt an alcoholic to stand any chance. Moderate drinking is just not an option for this alcoholic. Balls out blackout, messy, carnage drinking or nothing for me.
I choose nothing as I couldn't cope with the other option anymore and it would kill me and destroy everything in my life in the process.