WaterofLife

I wanted to say that I'm inspired by a lot of these stories. The tenacity of many of you and the willingness to be here and help others.

I wasn't going to post here, but I wanted to get some advice here about "scaling back" drinking. A little background. I'm 26. I do my job well, I have good relationships and a lot to be thankful for. I am considered an optimistic/upbeat person by friends and colleagues and I am generally in a very good mood. Since about 19 years old, I've also loved drinking. Certainly I had my share of college experiences abusing alcohol and I was no stranger to the "night cap," but I've always had "control" over it.

Over the past couple years I've found that the line between an enjoyable set of drinks and a "security blanket" of sorts has dramatically thinned. Ever since my fiancee and I separated (cordially for the most part for distance/future issues) I started to fill the unwelcome time between work (which I love) and sleep (which I also love) with drinking. At most, I realized I was cashing a bottle of wine a night and planning to drink more on weekends (with anxious, annoyingly rough hangovers on some days). It's competing with my natural energy, taking more gym nights and encouraging bad eating (where otherwise I love working out and cooking for myself/eating well). Some days I found myself pining for a drink, and others when I swore to stop the cycle I'd feel completely confident in my decision to purchase a handle of rum for the week by the end of the day...

About three weeks ago I decided to "cut back." I started by taking "off days" for the gym, filling my weekends with social activities and refusing to keep more than a bottle of wine in the apartment at any given time. I realized today that I haven't had a single drink in 6 days, and that is the longest I've been without a single drink in as long as I can remember.

I actually feel pretty sharp. Seeing as how I've enjoyed alcohol responsibly a number of times (and did last weekend with a young lady friend I took to dinner) without running home for more... I feel like I can break free from something that's been holding me now for almost 2 years. I'm tired of planning around alcohol or thinking I need a few drinks to enjoy something as simple as a movie or the company of friends. I want to own my days, not by abstaining, but through control. Not giving up a martini with the old man or the family traditions of egg nog, brandy and cigars at Christmas. In the mean time, I'm using the gym, my study of Korean (I've been working the language for 3 years), and my love for music and keyboard to keep me occupied. Tonight, I hung out with friends at an oceanside dock bar on a warm day and enjoyed iced tea (told the friends I was planning on running/lifting later-- which wasn't a lie)-- I dare say a fews Margaritas sounded pretty heavenly, but the thought of getting back from a solid workout was enough to break the temptation.

Anyway, I'm not sure why I signed up or posted here. The reality is that I haven't been completely honest with people about my drinking-- it's been a private thing and something I've found very comfortable. Namely because everybody commented on how "well" I handled a difficult breakup.

I've always been a fan of the saying, "Own the day." That's what I want to do with every single day of my life. If I want a drink, I'll have one-- but I refuse to ever let a substance take hold of me again.

--WaterofLife.