Originally Posted by ted
hey all.i have really done it.the hurt i have caused to sue,the only person i have.it is unbearable.i'm dealing with so much pain,i don't know what's going on.sue is hurting,i have caused it,i love her,she thinks i'll never get better,i haven't hit my bottom.i've hit so many lows,i can't bear one more....please help....ted
Yep. She's hurting Ted. I heard it in her voice the other night. She
loves you. But at the same time, she worries about her own welfare. She has to man.
You and I are alcoholics. We make our lives miserable when we drink and the lives of our loved ones as well. It's what we do best sometimes. This last outing for you was hard on her, as it was for you my friend. Towards the end, for me, the remorse I felt after a bender was always worse. It was progressing each time. You know why? Because I had tasted sobriety. I had only just begun to believe in the promises of AA. So it was in the back of my mind, every time I gave in to my obsession. And once the first one down the hatch, you and I both know where we end up.
So the progression of pain and remorse is much the same for Sue. And I'm guessing she's slightly pissed at you, to put it politely. And worried. Worried down to the marrow. I've seen that in my wife.
All we can do Ted is stay sober today. Make amends as best you can. With her and with yourself. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow isn't here yet.
And above all Ted, learn a lesson from this. Drawing something positive from the insanity of the last two weeks will go a long way for both of you.
