I asked for the feedback....good or bad.
I've been around other alcoholics. Grandparents. Friends. All the reading I've done pegs my g-parents and friends to a "T". It misses most marks with her.
She gets her 30 day chip today. She actually quit way before, but she started counting from her first meeting. I didn't argue.
Someone had asked how I knew of her history. Talking to her mom, her friends, and two previous boyfriends. I know more about her life than anyone else that's been a part of it other than her.
I've been to a therapist that deals with addiction and is 25 years recovered. We have talked multiple times about me, this woman, me again and me some more. She is confident that I'm doing the right things but has made some suggestions which I have made changes in my life for.
I'm an ex-smoker. I'll never be a non-smoker again. Every once in awhile I smell one just the right way and I'd love to have one. But within 5 seconds the desire is gone and I'm back to where I was....realizing that smoking was hard on my body and glad I quit. My girl has seen the affect of alcohol on one of her friends that she kicked out of her life. She recognizes in how much of a better place she is and is thankful that she is no longer there. She is not a weak willed woman. It's easy to blame things on alcohol. I've seen friends do it. I've seen her do it. I really think she realizes how bad things were and that she is now where she wants to be. Time will tell, but if I had to place a bet, I'd bet on her.
It's not in my nature to let statistics dictate my actions. I started a business 17 years ago with no money and not one business class, yet I do well for myself and my employees. Had I listened to the stats, I should have been out of business within 3 years of starting. It's looking at the situation, listening to your gut and making a decision. I had dated someone else years ago that ended up being bi-polar. On her meds for 6 months, she was perfect. She got off of them and ended up showing me her addiction to alcohol. I walked away because I knew in my heart and my head that there was no way she would ever recover or be a good partner or stepmom. What's happening this time is totally different in both my heart and gut.
I'm going to step back some and see how things happen. How she continues on her path with love and support. She indeed has to do this on her own, and has to this point, but I have my boundaries set, my limits in place and have promised myself if she breaks them that I will indeed remove myself.
Thanks again everyone.
SX1106