stella...you're not being harsh, you're being REAL. Sadly, I think I could have avoided a lot of what happened to me had I just been in contact with someone like you BEFORE I had DD with XAH. Until SR, I didn't even know whether or not XAH was an alcoholic or an abuser.
HOWEVER, let me just say this.
I found SR on October 1, 2009.
I posted a few times during that month and read much.
I told XAH it was over on October 8, 2009.
There were a few weeks of hell.
I left on October 31, 2009.
Obviously, I was ripe to leave that toxic relationship, but had it no been for the support I found here at SR, for the harsh but true words that were written to me, I don't think I would have left so swiftly and safely.
I'm not sorry I went through what I went through, because it has shaped who I am as a person, and without those experiences my beautiful DD wouldn't have been born. For those things, I am grateful.