you're very right - i do think about the future but I still see it with rose-tinted glasses and plenty of hope and wishful thinking. I need to look at reality and see that the actions are more importnat than the words. I am starting to think that the only way we can work is if he enters rehab - but he needs to decide that for himself. I know he's scared, but surely a life of drinking and being alone is scarier than sorting yourself out and having a happy 'normal' life. We definitely need to have that talk. I've had a few days away from him now and it's all sinking in - for me, I need that change to happen and it has to happen soon and quickly - none of this bit by bit improvement. From what i've read about recovery it doesn't happen gradually (i mean by drinking less each week for example), there is a sudden decision to change and put your all into it straight away and then keep going (for ever really). Correct me if I'm wrong though!