Hi - First, congrats on 9 months. Great progress.
I felt just as you did. I didn't actually finish Step 1 until six months into my sobriety when I almost relapsed on my six month birthday due to over-confidence.
As I felt exactly this way, I struggled with the higher power / God concept. But then, I changed my thinking.
I said: "Ok, I am having a hard time with the God thing, but my own recovery program (that I invented) doesn't seem to be working because (a) I almost relapsed, and (b) I'm not happy. Perhaps, I should just get over all my hang-ups, stop trying to control everything, and just give it a try."
I started simply by waking up and saying "Good Morning" to the ceiling. At night, when I got into bed having stayed sober, I just said "Thanks". Soon, I started saying "Let me be a positive influence in someone else's life today." That was it.
What started to happen was that by worrying about other people first (before myself), I didn't worry about myself as much. (I'm not a saint, and I certainly am still selfish, but we all try our best ...)
My prayer was not to God, per se, but rather to "Not Me". In other words, I really took to heart that most of the time, it is just not about me. The world doesn't revolve around me. And this got me to the place where I realized that I could let go of a lot of the things that I was trying to control. (the serentity prayer now comes to mind).
And in that instant, I relaxed, my craving for alcohol diminished, and I got closer to my own higher power who is just "Not Me".
You know that the key to recovery is willingness, open mindedness, and action. Keep posting .. and go help other alcoholics. If you want an amazing, eye-opening experience, go be the speaker to a meeting of 100 other freaks and bums like us. It will keep you sober for weeks.