Originally Posted by
hopefeen 
i mean i go to meetings like 2 times a day, but i havent gotten a sponsor yet and have trouble picking up the phone. advice?
Yep. Get a sponsor and call them. Work the Steps like your life depends on it. Start reading the Doctor's Opinion and first 44 pages and underline everything having to do with hopelessness, powelessness, insanity, despair, torture, lack of control, obsession, etc. See where you relate to Bill's Story. Turn all the statements in Chapters 2-3 into questions and answer them using your own experience.