Originally Posted by stella27

I am single (separated, not divorced for 7 months now) and I can't describe the joy I feel with my life. It is as though I am living in technicolor after years of black/white and gray.

I realize that due to living with an abusive A, I didn't think *I* was good enough. My allegiance to him kept me from seeking out really healthy people whom I can admire.

Every day has its elements of fun. And a delightful sense of the absurd.

I am secure and happy in my own skin. I am learning how to like myself.

One thing I have done is seek out photos of myself where I look attractive. I had decided that I wasn't attractive and then I started living like I wasn't attractive and didn't spend any time getting dressed or trying to look nice, and guess what? I didn't look attractive.

I am overweight, but have started running (and roller-skating and horseback riding) and guess what? my legs are starting to develop some tone and look pretty. And I am letting myself admire myself for the first time in years.

When I hear myself becoming paranoid "I can't believe I said that. They must have thought I was really stupid." I stop myself, say "I wonder why I am feeling so down on myself today?" acknowledge that my recall may not be factual, but more emotional, and then try to move on.

I feel so good for the first time in years.