Hi,
Well, it makes sense, in that none of us want to accept that we can never drink again.
But, for me, trying to control my intake, was insanity. Over and over again, I would tell myself that I woud just have two glasses of wine at dinner. And, then I would start thinking about it more and more to the point of obsessing. And, I would never stick to my plan.
You're lucky that you know you need to stop drinking before things get worse.