IWC...you came here in mid-December and have been asking these same questions ever since. Several people have suggested attending Al-anon meetings. Have you done this? Al-anon can help YOU be the best YOU you can be. You are still trying to control the situation with your boyfriend and it hasn't worked before, it's not working now and it won't work in the future. You don't like the person he IS. You are still attached to the "could be's" and the "what if's." Life is reality, not fantasy. It's time for you to let go of the fantasy.