I’m so fed up with the drinking. I was doing really well getting on with my own things and not obsessing over him, but maybe that was because I thought he was doing well. Now I know he’s been drinking more than I thought, I can feel myself slipping again. There also seems to be one drama/problem after another with him – as soon as one thing is sorted, something else starts. This time it is an ex-girlf of his sending notes through his door. He hid it from me but I got it out of him today. Apparently she is going round there tonight because she wants to see him and talk – he is going to let her in and tell her to leave him alone. Sounds dodgy to me but I have to trust him. I thought she’d finally disappeared for good after he changed phone number in the first few months of our relationship just so she couldn’t keep calling and harassing him. It’s just one more problem and annoyance to add to our lives. I’m worried about it and he’s already drinking today so he’ll probably be drunk when she arrives.
This paragraph stands out for me. You have been dealing with this guy and his drinking issues for quite a long time now. You've been miserable way more often than not. You've always said that if he cheated, that would be your limit to what you would put up with. Now, he's getting notes from an ex and hiding them from you. He says he's going to see her. If he didn't want to talk to her, he wouldn't. If he wasn't flattered by the notes she send him, he would have thrown them away and refused to see her. I'm sorry to sound so blunt, but do you need to actually see them in the act to realize that this man is throwing all your boundaries in your face? He is not interested in being the man you want him to be. He is what he is. You deserve better.