I walked into my first meeting, ashamed, lonely, scared and oh so desperate. You see, life had reached the point of desparing unmanageabilty and I went on the suggestion of my husband, who was only back after a two year seperation, two day's and I continued to drink. He said, "Chy, just try one meeting, and I'll never suggest it again." Because, you see, I was a whiner, "poor me", "I'm so weak", "I'm not a bad person, I'm not hurting anyone".. you get the point.
ONE meeting it was, then I could say I had tried everything right? When I walked in and sat in the back in the corner, tears welled in my eyes, listening to these people I surely didn't want to be like I knew I belonged. It was the laughter that got my attention. I realized fast, I could live a happy life sober, if, I followed this program with the people just like me.
I took in every word from everyone sharing like a dry sponge waiting to be full of all the knowledge, experiance, strength and hope they shared. I knew I was home. I knew I was safe, I knew I could find peace, and I have. I've been truley blessed with my miracle which is a work in progress everyday. I've never had so much joy, love, and friendships.
I've accepted my label, and I can hold my head high, I can laugh, I can be honest, I can be real, as the tools laid before me have given me a life I can now bear. I use these tools in all that I do, as without them I know I'd surely be lost in this world. Today, I'm a grateful alcoholic, still believing I can do this and continue to grow just one day at a time.